A woman in search of a word

Would you judge me immediately if I mentioned that I took the title of this post from a Julia Robert's movie? I watched Eat, Pray, Love last night while I was on RA duty, and I gotta say...not great. Don't get me wrong, props to JR for being a damn fine 44 year old, but the movie itself....meh. Nevertheless, I still found pleasure in some small details of the movie, namely this idea of a woman in search of a word. I feel like it's been my life theme for the past few days [or years]. I've never been much of a writer, and sometimes I wonder if it is because I have nothing to say or if it is because I simply have no way of saying it. If you asked those who know me well, they'd probably tell you I'm extremely lacking in opinion. This is not to say that I don't care, because I do. I do care. But, you'd likely never define me as some sort of fervent protester or sustainability Nazi. Or hipster.

I simply have no agenda. 

Although at times, I do wish I were a bit more incendiary. 

At 8am this morning, my boyfriend flew out to Budapest. In 7 days, I will be hanging out with my sister who I haven't seen for months. In 8 days, I will be starting a rigorous 5 week program in Nice, France taking two courses and working in a hospital. In approximately three weeks, I will be submitting my application for medical school. So...there's gonna be some change in my life. I'd really like to document this time via blogging, but as I said, I'm constantly in search of my words. If you're thinking this is the moment where I make some sort of blogging oath to the Internet community, you're wrong. I've done that a few too many times to fall for my own tricks. A friend of mine with a very prosperous blog tells me time and time again that she blogs only for herself, and so I asked myself "what can I get out of blogging that benefits only me me ME?"

and...well I'm still looking for that answer. 

I hope I find it.

"He went on looking for his words"

-Albert Camus' La Peste